I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
