Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
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Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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