Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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