i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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