wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You took a bar mat shot.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
