would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
