Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
