bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
