apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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