I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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