from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
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What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
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woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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