I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Everyone says I win the strip club
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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