dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
