whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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