Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
