i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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