I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize