And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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