i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize