Will you blow on my dice?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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