Tell her she can't have a vagina
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize