do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize