just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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