Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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