there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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