2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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