boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
