Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
