weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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