I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
