Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
