i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
