Having a random hookup so left but love u
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
