happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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