i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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