im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
