i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
