weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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