wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
