ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
