Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
