I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
