If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I feel great
I just peed on a car
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
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I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
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I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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