She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
