Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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