You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
