Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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