My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
