I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
