Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
