you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
