thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
