She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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