Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sorry my hands just texted you
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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