You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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