I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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