I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
