I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
