i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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