i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
